Humiliation is the belittling of pride, which leads to embarrassment or a, more importantly, state of being humbled or reduced to lowliness or submission. It is an emotion felt by a person whose social status has just decreased. It can be brought about through intimidation, physical or mental mistreatment or trickery, or by embarrassment if a person is revealed to have committed a socially or legally unacceptable act. Whereas, humility can be sought alone as a means to de-emphasize the ego, humiliation must involve other person(s); though not necessarily direct or willingly. Acting to humiliate can be part of erotic humiliation where the belittling activity provides emotional and/or sexual arousal or heightened sensation. Humiliation is also a good tool for getting over sexual inhibitions.
Humiliation play is the consensual use of mental humiliation in a sexual way, whereby one would become aroused from the fluid and powerful emotions of being humiliated and demeaned. The humiliation need not always be sexual in itself, as with many other sexual activities it is the feelings derived from it which are sought, regardless of the nature of the actual activity. It can be verbal or physical humiliation, and can be relatively private or public. Often it can become ritualized, and unlike some sexual variations it can also be easily carried out over a long distance or online. The distinction between humiliation and dominance in an activity such as erotic spanking is that the sought after effect is primarily the humiliation, the activity is just a means to that end.
For some people, activities such as name-calling are a way of achieving ego reduction or getting over sexual inhibitions.
- Human pet play – submissive as pup, boy, bitch, making the sub eat or drink from the pet doggy bowls
- Verbal belittlement, (g. slave, boy, faggot, pussy, pup)
- Insults (g. fat, faggot, ugly, stupid worthless pig)
- Degrading names (g faggot, bitch, cum whore, dog shit)
- Racial & ethnic slurs
- Rejection of body parts and behaviors such as cruel references to one miniature penis (Small penis humiliation – where scorn is addressed towards the supposed inadequacy of the male’s genitals or his inability to please even a woman) or overall mass or standard self care, mannerisms such as walking, responsiveness.
- Requirement to ask permission for everyday activities, such as going to the bathroom, spending money & eating
- Forced repetition, such as the sub being grateful to repeat commands that he has been given and to affirm them
- Forced flattery such as agreeing that every decision the Dom makes is wise, correct and justifiable while additionally praising the Dom’s physical and personality traits
- Mockery, disrespect, and ridicule
- Scolding in a way commonly reserved for children.
- Ejaculating, spitting or urinating on the submissive’s body preferably the face
- Forced sexual degradation, including such acts as erotic massage, rimming, foot worship & long blog jobs just to name a few
- Micro-management as to time spent and activities done, including lists of jobs to do, precise direction as to how the job is to be performed, and exactly how to act and behave
- Real Humiliation is the act of making a person carry out specific tasks which involve other real people who are not aware that there is a task or dominant relation issuing the task in the background.
- Specific rituals and habits to be adopted. This includes displays of subservience, such as lighting cigarettes, walking a pace behind the dominant, speaking only when spoken to, kneeling in front of the dominant when expecting orders, eating only after others or on the floor, and low-status place to sleep.
- Body worship, including such activities as kissing or licking the dominant’s feet, boots, ass, pits, etc. to express acknowledgment, subservience, shame, and even positive emotions (such as happiness and excitement).
- Deprivation of privacy, which may include the submissive is never able to leave the room in which the dominant is present without permission.
- The dominant watches while the submissive uses the toilet.
- The submissive is forbidden to leave the house or ‘dungeon’ in general for the duration of slavery or servitude, etc.
- Domestic Discipline, including spanking, slapping, whipping, bondage, and other activities (such as cock-and-ball torture (CBT)).
- Dresscode: guidelines for clothing, even in public.
- Erotic sexual denial, including the use of a chastity device.
- Wearing of external signs of “ownership”, such as collars.
- Erotic objectification where the submissive is used as human furniture, such as a footstool.
- Forced anal penetration, with dildos, anal plugs, and similar objects.
- The submissive having to ask permission to orgasm during sex or masturbation.
- Forced masturbation in a humiliating manner.
Online humiliation is the desire to be seen in a sexually embarrassing context on the Internet. This practice allows the submissive to seek fetish partners from across the world. As the Internet has grown and continues to grow, so does online humiliation. Anecdotal reports indicate that the proportion of men being dominated by women on the Internet, through some type of personal service provided for a fee by the woman, vastly exceeds the instances of a woman being dominated online by a man, or another woman.
Common methods of online humiliation:
- Public ridicule
- Embarrassing photographic or video assignments for the submissive, who must publicly post pictures or videos of their humiliation. The dominant may require public acts or exposure. Sometimes humiliating words are written on the submissive’s body before photographing.
- Requiring the submissive to post publicly his or her name, address, phone number, employer, or other personal information.
- The requirement for submissives to keep online journals detailing personal information, such as masturbation frequency, thoughts or fantasies, technique or aid(s) used, and disposal of semen (if the submissive is allowed to masturbate).
- The requirement for the submissive to place himself in chastity, and to publicly post a picture showing his or her status.
- Verbal abuse.
- Publicly bidding for items that reveal their fetishes.
- Money slavery, in which the submissive must buy the dominant gifts and pay the dominant’s bills and taxes, or give the dominant direct access to his or her bank accounts and credit cards.
- Homework slavery, in which the submissive must do the dominant’s homework or occupational work.
- Repetitive assignments, such as copying the phone book, etc.
- Humiliating the submissive by changing his or her stats on social sites.
- Controlling the submissive’s computer remotely, through remote desktop software the submissive is required to install.
These practices can be conducted through chat, webcam, e-mail & BDSM related websites.